I was not a blogger before this class began. I had intended to become a blogger after my friend Rich died 2 years ago. He had blogged before blogging was cool and some of his writing, which was read at his funeral, was profound and moving. I appreciated having those pieces of him after he was gone and was thankful he had shared his thoughts with the blogosphere. In reality though, I opened a blog account but had some fear around actually engaging in the blogging, so I did not write. Was I nearly as good a writer as Rich was? What could I say that would be worthwhile? Is it anything anyone would care to read? I find now that it is more about the experience of writing and expressing myself than thinking about who might read what I have to say.
I am glad that blogging was a large element of this class. I have enjoyed becoming more familiar with how it works, and have enjoyed interacting with my classmates on interesting and provocative subjects. The closest thing to regular blogging I had previously done was a time when I used twitter a lot. I like the “microblog” venue of twitter, it fits well with my sarcastic cynicism but leaves little room to expound on any thoughts.
In using the longer blog platform, I learned a few things about myself and my writing as well as learning a few things about myself through my writing. If I were doing a blog on my own time, I certainly would not have had so many things I thought were worth saying. I find though, that I truly enjoy this style of writing. It is freeing to be able to write in a way that feels like my own voice. When I write in my speaking voice, I enjoy myself a lot more.
Frustrations of Technology
While I was posting blogs and comments in the beginning, I had a few instances where I lost some of my writing to the quirks of “Blogger”. I had tried to do some of my blogging homework on my lunch breaks at work and found that it did not let me post from the PC on my desk in my office. I vented about this in my comment to Aaron20’s blog post.
I also really hated how I would preview the blog and it would look perfect as far as margins and spacings and when I would hit “publish post” the margins would be all messed up. I hated looking like a slacker who couldn’t get the spacing right. But I promise, on my word document where I composed before hand, the spacing and margins looked awesome.
Other than that, I found that the technology did not hinder by ability to engage in this class and in this blog. I feel as though the blogging venue was an effective and thoughtful way for us all to think through our opinions and discuss them.
A Semester of my own writing
As I have been going over my blog entries for the semester, I find that a lot has happened since my first blog regarding Muslim Students and Free Speech. I am surprised by how much content we each covered as we (speaking for myself) sometimes struggled to get “blog” and “comment 1” and “comment 4” etc, off of our to-do lists.
Looking back, my blogs ran the spectrum of anger, to humor, to gratitude through the experiences of this semester. I honestly found that there were times where I was exhausted to continue to feel angry about certain things though. The Penn State blog I did was the most emotionally taxing for me. Given the fact that I have commented on many other blogs about my disillusionment with Division I football I was beginning to feel tired of writing the same thing. I then realized that while I try to be cynical about Division I football, I still seem to have room to be further horrified…which tells me I do have some idealism left within me. Or at least I did before this Penn State thing happened.
I also am continuously aware that I need to deal with my justice issues when it comes to athletics. I’ll be working on that…
I was writing from a very nostalgic place when I wrote Take me back to Old Havana. I will always love to write about my Semester at Sea experiences, as that was a chapter in my life that was truly life changing. I hope soon that the educational opportunities that Cuba holds will be open again to U.S. students. There is much to learn about the relationship between our two countries and it will be important for future leaders to have the opportunity to become familiar with these issues.
In a therapeutic way, I really enjoyed writing my procrastination blog I can still get things done. Yes, I am a procrastinator, but what I didn’t say in there was that I actually a little frustrated with what I consider one of my flaws. I wish I was the superwoman who does not procrastinate…but alas, I am human and often leave assignments until they are at a crucial point. I do not want to be one of those crazy scary overachievers I was referring to, but I do want to be better in my time organization. That’s the truth I did not share in that blog.
But I did have fun with it.
The one I am most hesitant about critiquing is my blog about how the letter to the editor assignment played itself out in the rest of my world as well. My blog a class assignment and a little bit of a miracle was written through a lot of emotion as well as illness. I find that when I am not feeling well, as I was when I wrote this one, my emotions seem much bigger.
The emotions I felt surrounding that weekend were certainly muddled together and were hard to sort through, but they were still very important. What this experience and this writing brought into my consciousness was the realization about how interconnected the different aspects of my world can be. I am a Student Affairs professional and I am a Christian. I am a doctoral student and a church member. I am the daughter of a pastor and a straight ally. I am reluctant to talk about politics, but wield a fiery opinion when I do. In regard to the Church (the big “C” Church) I have anger, fear and doubt. In regard to my current church, I experience gratitude, healing and love.
I have always been a person who is introspective and contemplative…often to an extreme. I cannot help that; it is how I was created. This experience and the time I spent writing about this experience made me realize that I need to embrace the introspective part of me. Being a spiritual person is not something I can check at any door of any room I walk into. I just need to be okay with knowing that it is a part of me as I embark on this quest of getting a PhD. It may not always be an element of what I do for research, but it is part of the lens I look through, and that is okay. We all have lenses.
My favorite personal blog from the semester by far was The Graduate Student Manifesto. I was laughing and smiling through the whole time I was writing that one. I think I write best when I am enjoying the craft of it. I was going for the appropriate balance of wit and sarcasm with just a dash of anger to communicate what I have long considered to be the bane of my academic existence. I shared it with a friend of mine who is a professor of Student Affairs Masters level students and she ended up sharing it with her students. I appreciate that Matt responded with his own blog on the subject and as I said to him in my response, I get why we have APA…I just don’t have to like it. And I REALLY don’t….
Overall thoughts for the semester
The learning I experienced throughout this class has an equal amount to do with the topics we discussed, which were fascinating, and my capacities in communication. I find that I am free on my blogs to write as I want to, which is liberating. However, I find that verbally in class, it is a bit more of a struggle to speak my opinion. Not so much that I don’t feel comfortable speaking, it’s just that there are so many people competing for the floor that sometimes I just let it go and process internally. I am exploring when I need to assert myself with classmates when I feel triggered, and when it is not worth the follow up. I find that in my laid back nature of communicating, I can easily get stepped on when a more assertive person speaks over me. Sometimes I don’t care, but sometimes I do. These are the things I am learning about myself.
Overall, I have very much enjoyed this class. I enjoyed having a different mix of people than our cohort class and I especially liked the larger gathering of our first weekend of classes. I find that the ongoing writing required for this class has been very positive for me. It is a learning experience in itself to write, but it is a good reflection to review what I have written throughout the semester.
I have always lived by the motto “life is a journey” and in re-reading my blogs for the semester, I have enjoyed reliving this particular journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment